Well, i didn't bother going to the cinema today, i just wasn't in the mood really - it said there was 28 going or something and i think in someways i was scared of not being noticed again - which tends to a happen a lot with me, i know it's probably my own fault i just go into a shell and be afraid of people noticing me i think. I will go to a meet up group with the movie club i am determined to for my own good, but it's just really hard, i want so much to change my life and to stop being shy and quiet but it's getting that last step out, and letting the real me go,unabashed and unafraid, i don't hate myself the way i use too i actually think that i have come along quiet a bit in the last year or so,but i just get frustrated that i can't let go,
I get afraid and stuff and feel like my opinion isn't worth while
I just want a life, as normal as one can having someone that cares and keeps in touch with me. I never really had that and i want it badly, I am ready for the next chapter i am ready to change what needs to be changed and hopefully that wont be to far away!
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